


Yell Penis for Password

by hellafandom



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Humanstuck, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-11
Updated: 2016-06-23
Packaged: 2018-04-08 21:04:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 4,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4320633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hellafandom/pseuds/hellafandom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sollux has just moved into a new apartment and desperately needs Wi-Fi but his router (and everything else in the moving truck) has been sadly delayed. Luckily there seems to be a solution to his problem.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> dont even ask if this is an AU or anything i really dont know sollux can be human if you want, he can be a troll if you want, just slap your own AUs and headcanons on this as you see fit, knock yourselves out. might continue, might not.

"Oh fuck." Sollux grumbled, about to toss his phone across the room. After finally getting to his new apartment, the moving truck he had hired to move anything that wouldn't fit in a backpack and a carry-on suitcase had been stalled somewhere two states away and would be very late. More importantly, his router would be very late. Still grumbling, he pulled his laptop out of his backpack and set it on the floor, booting it up to see if there was any Wi-Fi he could mooch off of so he could chat with his friends and send off some work related emails about delays on projects. Scrolling through the plethora of options that his new neighbors had to offer he paused on one. The name simply said "yell penis for password". Sighing, he stood up and thought about it for a moment, did he really need Wi-Fi? Yes. _Yes he did._ Mustering his breath he shouted as loud as he could, not even caring about his neighbors opinions "PENIS!" 

Not even a second later he heard a response "What apartment number are you?!"  
He shouted back again "237!"

There was the sound of a door slamming and some pounding footsteps down the hall before a polite knock on his door. He answered the door and was confronted with a blond man wearing a pair of jeans and some red fuzzy slippers, holding a small slip of paper and grinning "So what makes you so desperate for some Wi-Fi?" Sollux almost sputtered "My router is somewhere two states away"  
"Wow, what a tragedy."  
"Hey, I work freelance, I need to be able to keep in touch with my clients!"  
"And so you'll shout penis in hopes for someone giving you a password?"  
"Well you're the one who set it up like that. Why penis anyways?"  
"Because I like penis."  
Sollux looked at him a little shocked. What were the fucking odds. After being around people who'd known him to be openly bisexual for years the closest he'd gotten to dating a guy was when he and Karkat had been really drunk and started making out. And here was this dude. He snapped back into reality when the guy waved his hand in front of his face "Hey, I asked what your name was"  
"Sollux. Yours?"  
"Dave." He peered around Sollux and into the almost empty apartment "Hey, if you want, you can crash in my place until your moving van shows up. This isn't really a place to sleep."  
"Yeah sure. Lemme just grab my laptop."  
Dave nodded and Sollux grabbed his laptop off the floor, following Dave back to his apartment.


	2. Chapter 2

"So, what brings you here?"

Sollux looked up from his laptop, startled "Oh well, the lease was up on my old apartment so since a lot of the people I freelance for tend to be in this state, I thought, why not? And moved halfway across the country." Dave chuckled a little and handed Sollux a cup of coffee "And now your moving truck is stuck two states away and you might be stuck with me as a friend" Sollux took a long sip of his coffee before setting it down "Well that could be a good thing"

"Really, how come?"  
"Well for starters I've been given Wi-Fi and offered a place to crash."  
"Speaking of which do you want the couch or the bed?"  
"Take the bed, I'm small enough to fit on the couch?"  
"Well you could always share the bed  _with_ me"  
"Um well"  
"Kidding I don't know you well enough for that yet."

Sollux turned his attention back to his computer and started typing very quickly. Dave leaned back in his chair "I'm gay by the way, if it bothers you you should leave." Sollux shook his head "No, no, I'm actually bisexual myself I've just, never had much luck with guys."  
"That's a shame, you're cute. More of a ladies man?"  
"My last relationship with was with a girl but it uh" He stopped typing for a moment "It ended."  
Dave slurped at his coffee "Long story?"  
"Very."  
"Alright, I won't pry. The shower is that way, you can borrow what you don't have or grab it from your place."  
"I'll have to borrow, left quite a bit behind and haven't had a chance to buy more yet."  
"Any PJs?"  
"I sleep in my boxers"  
Dave nodded, sipping slowly at his coffee.

After a moment, Sollux checked the time and stood up, closing his laptop "I'm gonna go to sleep, it's been a long day." Dave just nodded again as Sollux walked to the bathroom, whipping out his phone as soon as Sollux was out of the room, furiously texting John  
'bro bro bro'  
'What is it Dave?'  
'theres a cute dude crashin in my apartment that i might have a chance with'  
'Yeah, and?'  
'come over tomorrow and check him out. bring whoever you want, the dude just moved here and has no friends other than me.'  
'A party?'  
'you're damn right it is.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah so i added another chapter and it'll probably keep getting fleshed out with stuff. maybe throw some aus, headcanons, ideas, ect, at me? also the coffee is decaf, fight me.


	3. Party Planning

Dave spent most of the rest of the night bouncing texts back and forth with various people about the party, denying admittance to various people and counting up how many snacks he'd have to buy to cover the amount of booze that was showing up. 

Eventually it was decided that John, Roxy, and Karkat were coming as a beautiful polygamous trio, Rose was coming but Kanaya was busy, Dirk hadn't yet confirmed or denied anything but since Jake and Jane were out of town it was doubtful he'd be doing anything outside of working on cars nonstop. Kankri had been.... avoided. But Nepeta said she might bounce along because she'd been looking for a place to do some sketching of moving people.

Being so engrossed in his phone he didn't notice when Sollux finished showering and came up to him, still wet "Hey where are the spare pillows and blankets?"   
"Oh uh" He quickly stood up and pocketed his phone as it continued going off like mad "Yeah let me get you some"   
"Thanks. What's with your phone?"  
"Oh some friends are coming over tomorrow"  
"What occasion?"  
"Figured you should meet some people here so you don't miss the friends you left behind"  
"I think I'll only really miss Aradia and Feferi. Eridan maybe even though he was an ass. I know an old friend of mine lives around here."  
Dave pulled down the blankets down and handed them to Sollux "Who?"   
"This short shouty dude named Karkat. Pretty chill, half Jewish, always types in all caps after a childhood incident with a caps lock key"  
"Oh yeah I know him. He's coming over tomorrow."  
"Really? Cool."  
Dave nodded and reached into his pocket to silence his phone "You off to bed?"  
"Yeah, good night"  
Sollux turned to head to bed and Dave immediately pulled his phone back out, texting John again  
"duuuude this bro is so thin."  
"also he knows karkles"  
"No way, thinner than you?"  
"shut your bara ass up, yes thinner than me. i have muscle at least."

He put his phone down for a sec and then got a text, from a different person.  
"WHO DO I KNOW"  
"a certain lanky half asian looking programmer from out of town"  
"NO SERIOUSLY TELL ME WHO IT IS"  
"why, don't you know? sollux"  
"SO NOW ITS A PAIR OF LANKY ASSHOLES, GREAT"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that chapters are so short. I'm on a tablet typing these straight onto ao3
> 
> Also I've decided this is a human au?
> 
> Makes it a little easier on me. Characterization might be a bit off sometimes sorry.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The party starts out in full swing

Lying peacefully on the couch with his headphones on, Sollux didn't hear Dave answer the door the first, second, or third time, not even noticing the influx of people (and booze). Not until a girl in a large paint splattered jacket situated herself in his field of vision and pulled out a sketchbook and pencil, starting to draw, did he pull off his headphones and sit up "What are you doing?"  
"Awwwr, you moved...."  
"You were drawing me??"  
"Yep! But I didn't really manage to get started before you moved so it's okay!"  
"Why are you here?"  
"Dave invited me over! Everybody else is in the kitchen, making drinks. You should join."  
"Oh uh. Sure." Sollux closed his laptop and set it aside, standing up "The names Sollux by the way"   
"I'm Nepeta!" She took him by the arm and started to persistently moving him towards the kitchen "Not all of Dave's friends are at this party but you'll meet them all soon enough"  
"Yeah" Right as they were about to cross into the kitchen, Sollux paused "Wait, a party?"  
"Yep!" Nepeta shoved him through the door.  
Dave immediately saw them "Hey, look what the cat dragged in!"  
Nepeta meowed playfully and both of them soon had a shot in their hands. Sollux downed it immediately and set down the class, looking around the room. 

His eyes landed on a shock of curly hair, at a slightly lower height than everyone in the room "Karkat!" Karkat turned and almost tackled him in a hug "You asshole why didn't you tell me you were moving here!"  
"It happened so fast that I completely forgot!"  
"You dick nugget!"  
"Jeez sorry don't get your balls in a twist."  
A voice called out from across the room "Only person who twists his balls is me!  
Karkat whipped around and turned bright red "Shut up John!"   
Sollux snorted with laughter and Karkat punched his arm. John walked over, and ruffled the little guys hair "C'mon, introduce me!"  
"John, this is my old friend, the bisexual hacker asshole, Sollux Captor. Sollux, this is my dipshit bisexual polyamorous boyfriend, John Egbert. And coming up behind him is his girlfriend, Roxy Lalonde, the wonderful pansexual hacker and former alcoholic." 

Sollux couldn't help but laugh at how he said the introductions, doing his best not to collapse on the floor as he shook hands with Roxy and John "It's nice to meet you" Roxy was also giggling, and could barely shake his hand. Dave wandered over and when the giggling ceased, handed out another round of shots, Roxy declining and taking a drink of her soda. 

Once everyone had settled again, Sollux answered a few questions about how he'd been doing. Yes, he worked as a freelance coder. No, he wasn't with Feferi anymore. No, the crush on Aradia hadn't panned out. Yes, the Amporas were still assholes. Slowly, everyone learned more about everyone and the party migrated to the living room. Everyone sat down on the floor and various furniture and an empty vodka bottle found its way to the table, someone announcing spin the bottle. As buzzed as everyone was, there was quick agreement, with the added rule that you either kissed the person, took off a piece of clothing, or told a secret about yourself.   
The first few spins were uneventful. Till the bottle landed on Sollux and he really didn't want to kiss anyone at that moment "Alright I'll tell a secret. I've got two piercings in both my ears, in my tongue" He stuck it out as proof and sighed a little "And on my dick"  
There was a momentary uproar of "Show! Show! Show!" That died down as soon as Sollux spun the bottle. It landed on Dave and he simply took off his pants, having lost his shirt in an earlier spin. He took a swig of his drink and rested his arm on the back of the couch, slowly moving it so that it was wrapped around Sollux's shoulders. Sollux flushed bright red and Dave just grinned, spinning the bottle again, landing on Sollux "Well what'll it be? You still have a pair of pants you can lose." Sollux calmly took of his glasses and and laid them on the table "Aww come on that doesn't cou-" Dave's complaint was cut short as Sollux kissed him. He was startled for a moment and then closed his eyes, grabbing Sollux by the waist and pulling him closer. After a few awkward seconds trying to make it so that their noses wouldn't ram into each other, Sollux ended up straddling Dave's lap, running his fingers through his hair. With their lips pressed together, Sollux could taste the on Dave's breath the fruity taste of the drinks he'd had as well as the more bitter taste of straight vodka. He wondered how his own breath tasted for a moment and then no longer cared, pressing his lips more firmly against Dave's. After a few more moments they broke apart and Dave stood up, picking Sollux up princess style "If you'll excuse us for a moment"

Everyone simply grinned as Dave and Sollux disappeared into his bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if I left out any characters i mentioned last chapter i did this on my phone with no internet connection. assume theyll be in the next chapter.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting down to business

Dave sat Sollux down on his bed and smiled a little, kneeling between his legs "You okay with this?"  
Sollux leaned back on his hands, looking entirely too red "Yeah, I'm fine"  
"Good, because I'm about to suck out your fucking soul"  
Before Sollux had a chance to respond, Dave had unzipped his pants and pulled them down below his hips along with his boxers. He ran his fingers along the length of Sollux's dick, watching it harden as he touched it "You weren't kidding about those piercings huh?" He said, flicking them gently with his nails.  
"No they're uh. Right there."  
Dave grinned and licked the tip of Sollux's dick slowly, wrapping his lips around its head and slowly moving his head up and down. Sollux gripped the sheets tightly, starting to pant a little and closing his eyes. Dave was tempted to laugh, running his tongue across the dual piercings and wondering if he was the first person to see them other than Sollux and the piercer. Taking more of Sollux's cock into his mouth, Dave felt himself get hard, in that moment regretting the decision to wear briefs. Seeing as Sollux wasn't in a position to help and there was a party to get back to, Dave did the logical thing.

While leaving one hand resting on Sollux's hip, and continuing to move his head up and down, Dave reached down and pulled out his dick, slowly starting to jack off. Sollux didn't notice, starting to let out quiet gasps and squeaks between pants, obviously enjoying himself. Dave moved his hand a little faster, groaning a little and he got closer and closer to finishing. Suddenly Sollux tensed up and let out a first and final moan, cumming straight into Dave's mouth, who hadn't had time to react.

Dave swallowed and managed to finish himself off right in that moment, looking up at Sollux "Some warning would be nice"   
"Sorry, I'll make it up to you"  
"How?"  
Sollux stuck out his tongue, showing off his tongue piercings again "You'll see"  
"Ah that sounds fair"  
Sollux stood up and pulled up his pants and underwear, not buttoning his pants completely, then helped Dave up off the floor. "C'mon, there's a party out there"

When they walked back into the living room, silence fell for a moment as everyone turned to look at them. They were speechless for a moment until Rose piped up "Should I text Dirk that you've earned your sunglasses back or do you want to do it?

"Ah fuck it, let him know, it'll get his ass down to the party"

Rose sipped at her drink and pulled out her phone, texting Dirk. She'd showed up late and had been informed of the various going ons by Roxy and Nepeta. In the spirit of comradeship she'd taken off her skirt although she'd declined to play spin the bottle, with her and Kanaya's relationship being exclusive. 

After around thirty minutes in which only Sollux managed to lose clothing (his shirt and pants), there was loud knocking on the door and John answered it, only the fact that he weighed forty more pounds than Dirk kept him from being knocked over. Dirk instead politely walked past him and then sprinted for the living room.

Dave stood up to greet him "Hey bro how's it going?"  
Dirk was panting a little and pulled out Dave's sunglasses from his grease stained jeans "Here you ass"  
Dave grinned and put them on "Want a drink?"  
Dirk wiped his face with his tank top, managing to somehow make it both more and less oil covered "Yes."  
Dave went into the kitchen and Dirk followed. He stood neck to Dave and dropped his voice to a whisper "Who's the guy?"  
"He lives a few doors down, just moved in."  
"Dude are you prepared for that commitment?"  
"I don't know but. I wan't to try"  
"Good luck, tell me if you need anything"  
"Speaking of which, how's it going with Jake?"  
"Dating someone who is asexual and aromantic has its bumps in the road but were taking it slow and making it work"  
"That's good to hear"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written off my phone again, sorry for any mistakes
> 
> also please comment?


	6. Chapter 6

Dave and Dirk finished their small rendezvous and rejoined the rest of the gang, everyone knocking back a few more shots made of questionable mixes before the party devolved into everyone lounging around and laughing at dumb cartoons. Everyone slowly started to leave, finding or arranging rides home with all of them being too drunk to drive. 

Dave went around, setting bottles back in their cabinets or the trash, depending on how empty they were. He walked past the couch and plucked a cup out of Sollux's hand, Sollux grumbling a bit about Dave blocking his view of the TV. Dave chuckled and sat down next to Sollux, pulling him closer to himself "You enjoy yoursef?"  
"Hell yeah I did. Cartoons. Alcohol. Karkat. Cute Guys. Cute girls. Blowjob."  
"Am I allowed to take full credit for your happiness?"  
"Oh yes all mighty provider of the Wi-Fi" Sollux shifted so that his head was in Dave's lap "Who was the blond guy that came in?"  
"Ah that'd be my older brother"   
"He was cute"  
Dave looked down at Sollux in mild surprise, but then saw that he was already half asleep, and likely more than a little drunk. He pulled off Sollux's glasses and tucked them into his shirt "Let's get you to bed" Sollux just nodded a little, making Dave laugh. Manuvering a little awkwardly, he picked up Sollux, carrying him into the bedroom and basically dropping him onto the bed. Sollux grumbled a bit, reaching up to one of his eyes and rubbing it a bit "Fuck I'm still wearing a contact" Dave looked at him confused as Sollux sat up and staggered to the bathroom, swearing under his breath the whole time. He came back after a moment and collapsed back down on the bed "Better." Dave looked at him, and tilted his head and confusion, before where there had been two dark brown eyes, there was one dark brown and one bright blue one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its been a while but??? here!! i got another chapter!! its short and cliffhanger because i have a lab report but!! chapter!!!!


	7. Chapter 7

Sollux caught Dave staring at him and mumbled tiredly "What is it?" Dave sat down on the bed next to Sollux and smiled a little "Your eyes"   
"Oh well yeah. They've always been like that"  
"Why cover them up?"  
"Because people stare"  
Dave smiled and curled up next to Sollux, hugging him tight "Well I think they look beautiful"  
"Well that's one person..."  
"Keep telling yourself that" Dave chuckled "Now get some sleep or you'll be super hungover tomorrow"  
"I think the rest of my stuff shows up tomorrow" Sollux muttered. Dave hugged him tight "So are you leaving me?" Sollux turned to face Dave and kissed his nose "I'm down the hall and I'll give you a key"  
"Yes, but will you give me a blowjob?"  
"Some other time, I'm sleepy."  
Dave grinned and closed his eyes, falling asleep. The next morning he woke up when Sollux sat up in bed and started to get ready for the morning. He whined a little and pulled the blankets over his head but got up and hugged Sollux from behind "What time is it?" He drawled. Sollux laughed a little "It's ten o'clock, we overslept"   
"Wow, gross it's before noon"  
"Your boss called, I told her you were sick"  
"Hngh, thanks"

Sollux peeled away from Dave "Get some food, I enlisted Nepeta to help me move boxes once the van shows up with my things"  
Dave looked at him confused for a second and then nodded, plopping himself down at the kitchen table with a bowl of cereal and microwaved bacon after a few moments in the kitchen. Sollux almost had to laugh at how Dave looked, but left before he burst out laughing. He had texted Nepeta the time the van was showing up and the only response had been ">:33c" which he'd taken as a positive sign. And sure enough she was waiting for him outside the apartment complex. They chatted a bit waiting for the van, mostly about Dave and cats. Once the van pulled up, they got to work moving boxes and some furniture up to the apartment. Even with help from the moving men, it took a while to get it all set up. Once it was done though, Sollux's apartment looked fairly decent. 

Wandering back over to Dave's apartment, he and Nepeta let themselves in. "Hey Dave" Sollux called out "You less hungover?" Dave lifted a hand so he could be seen on the couch "Right here, and still hungover!" Nepeta giggled "What, can't handle your own parties?"   
Sollux grinned "Perhaps I'm just too hot to handle for him"  
Nepeta almost collapsed on the floor giggling "Well I know one thing Dave Strider /can/ handle"  
"Oh, what is that?"  
"Your di-" Dave almost sprung up from the couch "Hey!"  
At that, Sollux covered his mouth, keeping himself from bursting out laughing as Nepeta giggled to no end. Dave almost pouted "It wasn't that funny"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks to everyone whos reading this! id really appreciate you telling me what you like about it! i know the chapters are weird and short but writing off my phone is hard :'c


	8. As Time Goes On

Life in the apartment complex was pleasant for Sollux and Dave. The pair was often in each other's apartments, much to the surprise of, well, everyone. When confronted, neither would say they were dating but it was obvious something was going on. There were hangovers and blowjobs and Sollux had made close friends with Roxy and Nepeta. At some point, when Sollux was out, Dirk popped out of nowhere and tried to confront Dave about the situation. Dave almost tried to pretend he wasn't home but Dirk knew his younger brother's schedule like the back of his hand when it came to work. He just waited patiently for Dave to let him in and then picked him up and set him down on the couch. He sat down on the coffee table across from him and stared him down "What's going on between you and lanky asshole number two. I want to know."

"It's nothing okay, were just friends"

"Yeah fuckin right, don't lie to my." Dirk ran his hands through his oil streaked hair "Look, I remember telling me that you wanted to try for commitment. And I know both of us have had trouble in the past."

"Trouble? Trouble??? You mean being abused by someone until you were 13 and then shuffled through foster care until you managed to scrape up a job and part of a degree? Is that what you call trouble? You left me alone with him for 4 years!"

"I know I wasn't there for you, I had my own problems."

"Yeah, running across the country fixing motorcycles and never calling back home to make sure I was, I don't know, fed?"

Dirk buried his face in his hands "I made mistakes, I was only three years older than you. I thought if I left then he would treat you better. Just. Let's talk about now. It's obvious that Sollux would date you in a heartbeat. What's stopping you?"

"He's scared of commitment too."

"No."

"Yes."

"Why?"

"It's not my business but. The last time he was interested in someone, she died. Some sort of gang turf war that she accidentally got caught up in and it ended bad. He blames himself."

"Have you talked to him about it?"

"I brought it up once. He said he'd rather keep things casual."

"Should I talk to him?"

Dave rolled his eyes "Just stay out of it. I'm sure one of the girls or Nepeta will talk to him."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tfw u gotta go back and re-read ur own fic for plot details
> 
> tfw ur like "wow actually have an idea for a plot"
> 
> pls give feedback <3


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shits goin down

"Soooooollux" Nepeta banged on the door to the young freelancer's apartment "Sollux let me in!" She waited patiently outside the door for a moment, debating whether to knock again. After a moment, she heard shuffling and the door swung open. Sollux looked like he hadn't done anything except code for the past three days. In fact, he opened the door with laptop in hand, going immediately back to typing once the door was open and motioning for Nepeta to close it once she walked in. She followed him as he walked to his couch and sat down, placing his laptop in the only clear spot on his coffee table. 

Nepeta cleared off a spot on the couch and sat down, huffing at him "Sollux you've been avoiding epurryone." Sollux didn't glance at her and kept coding "Yeah I've been busy." She frowned and squirmed her way into his lap, laying across it. She stared up at his face, watching his eyes flick across the lines of code on his computer screen as he tapped away. After a second she reached up and tapped his face "Hey Sollux, one of your eyes is a different color than the other" He paused and looked shocked for a second, stiffening up then relaxing "Yeah they're like that, I usually hide it."   
"How come?"  
"I dunno, old habits die hard I guess."  
"When'd you start doing that?"  
"Back in my old neighborhood when people started looking for me" He paused after that and then went back to typing, pushing his glasses up a little "Don't worry about it."   
Nepeta frowned "Sollux you've been avoiding everyone."  
"I've just been working"  
"Really? When's this project due?"  
Sollux chewed on his lip for a second "Tomorrow."  
"Sollux are you lying to me?"  
"No! Of course not!!"

Nepeta frowned at him and crossed her arms, raising one eyebrow up "Really?"  
Sollux looked down at her and after a second sighed, throwing his hands up "Fine! It's due in a month!"  
"Well why are you working on it now?"  
"Because I already worked on everything else I have to work on"  
"Well you could take a break and come hang out with us"  
"I'd rather not"  
"Really? Why not?"

Sollux didn't respond, leaning back against the couch and chewing on his lip.

"Sollux, are you avoiding Dave?"  
"I mean he's a great guy but like...."  
"You don't like getting attached to people do you?"  
"Not after what happened to me no."  
"Do you wanna talk about it?"  
"Maybe some other time Nepeta"  
"Well. Are you just gonna sit on your but here and avoid someone you really like because you're afraid that if you get too close you'll get hurt?"  
"I... Well, I don't think he wants to get too close either."  
"Oh cut the crap Sollux, Dave may have his own issues but if you like him then get off your ass then go talk to him about this and make it work."  
Sollux paused and then reached down and sniffed his shirt, making a bit of a face and then looking down at Nepeta "Can I shower first?"  
"I honestly wasn't gonna say anything but dear god please do"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol this has 1000 hits im glad you guys think i know what im doing and i hope i didnt mislead you guys into thinking this was gonna be fluff <3


End file.
